You’ve possibly had a million conversations with him over the time you and your partner have been together, but nothing will prepare you for this particular chat. Would you like to view these rings in person? Here are a few things that he may ask. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. Your future son-in-law could be arriving anytime to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage, and you need to be sure before you give your blessing. In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. You would think asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage would be all about the dad. A recent study revealed that 70% of all engagements happen with the partner’s dad and/or mom’s loving approval, a tradition that became popular in the 18th century. Then, tell them you’d like to marry her … Create Your Registry with The Knot Wedding Registry. But what if you do intend to ask for your partner’s hand? This is any easy way to compliment him while pointing out the things you love about his daughter. So if you are about to pop the question, how and when should you approach your partners parent(s), and who should you ask? she is really close wit her family so out of respect for her dad i kinda wanna ask for his … That is so disrespectful to the mother. First, I want to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and (spouse’s name), and how much I appreciate being welcomed into the family. And even though back then asking for your hand in marriage was more of a permission than a blessing, the gesture has clearly stuck around. To stand in his way could drive her into his arms. The real key is confidence. If a … Tell the parent(s) you are sorry they feel that way, and that you would like to talk about the reasons why. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner. All Rights Reserved. Here’s a sample script: “I wanted to talk to you today because I have some important news to discuss. Let him know how important your partner is to you and all her good qualities. Tell him that out of respect for him you'd like to talk to him about marrying his daughter. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. While there are some wedding traditions that go in and out of style, there’s one that never will: Asking your future wife’s parents for their blessing. In terms of step-parents you’ll want to make sure you include them as well. Have a casual conversation and then discuss your intentions to marry his daughter. Graciously Blessing the Couple The decision to marry is really between your daughter and this man, although you likely feel that it’s your responsibility to protect your daughter. Otherwise, just having enough respect for him to have the conversation in the first place will usually be enough to see you through. Learn how your comment data is processed. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth the future path is for everybody. Will he be armed? They may not be the primary person to ask, but they still warrant inclusion and the courtesy of being one of the first to know. we both know that we wanna spend the rest of our lives together and the is no doubts about that. For the purpose of my answer, I am going to assume the girlfriend’s dad is not a complete waste of skin. If you want to marry my daughter, you bloody well ought to be able to pay for her, was the thinking. Ask if they allow each other space to be individuals — to be sincerely transparent with each other and reveal who they are inside. Asking for a parent's blessing or permission was once a standard part of an engagement. A boyfriend goes to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. We provide free overnight and insured shipping for all the jewelry on this website! But one real dad has a response to this song. Make sure you consider his personality, too. May I Marry Your Daughter? A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. Good luck to those that read this for advice! I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.”. There are plenty of those, and if that is what you are dealing with, don’t bother. Schedule an appointment at our New York City showroom. If you have problems with the suitor, keeping your mouth shut can give her a chance to see it for herself. What will he ask? If you don’t know the answer to a question, just say that you don’t know. Fine Collection of Wedding Rings and Wedding Bands, Curated Collection of Fine Diamond Earrings, Extraordinary Collection of Vintage and Antique Jewelry, Curated Collection of Fine Estate Engagement Rings, 7 Tips On How To Ask A Dad To Marry His Daughter, Complete Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring, Complete Guide to Buying a Vintage Engagement Ring, The Top 15 Celebrity Engagement Rings of 2020. I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. 2. There are plenty of women who will appreciate and enjoy the gifts that you buy for them. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. Her mother, step-dad, or even her uncle should be treated with the same respect. Keep reading. Assuming she’s already agreed to marry you in principle, there should be no problems. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. One more thing, ask your mother how she would have liked to be asked from her parents. For example, make sure you’ve spent time with her parents before you ask for their marriage approval, which will give them a chance to get to know you. Yes, it’s your wedding, but ensuring a happy fiancée and happy in-laws are something that will repay itself back a thousand-fold over the years. But as a father, you are having second thoughts about the man she's going to marry. Benjamin was born in New York and joined Estate Diamond Jewelry in 2014. Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Tip Number 3 – Location of Conversation The point is that you took the time and effort to reach out in a meaningful way, which is something your future in-laws will definitely appreciate. It’s not as easy as it sounds! Forget that crazy lady, Jean, who commented. Are you ready for this kind of commitment? You may be head over heels with one another, but if you haven’t discussed your future and when marriage is right for both of you, it’s time to pump the breaks and confront that question first. When you ask for your partner’s father’s blessing, the relationship immediately changes. Nobody needs a growing sense of embarrassment waiting for you to get to the point, whether you have an established relationship or not. If so, then that’s obviously something to consider. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. A piece in the Metro, suggested that if your partner asks your Dad for ‘permission’ then you shouldn’t marry them. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and thoughts on this. There’s no sugar-coating this. He is passionate about vintage jewelry and vintage diamonds. Once the most important people have been told of your intention to marry, work out who should tell whom and be careful not to steal anybody’s glory. Copyright © 1980 - 2020 Estate Diamond Jewelry. Marry the woman who not only appreciates presents but also cares about your savings, your hard earned money. How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter. This blog was built based on his strong belief that there is a responsibility for jewelers to properly educate their customers. He received his gemological degrees from both GIA and GUBELIN. Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. But my process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea I ever asked. I plan to ask my girlfriend’s father for permission to marry his daughter. In this day and age, no man should need anothers permission. When popping the question to her father, steer clear of praising his … Get him to the point where he is happy with your intentions to marry his daughter. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. What are the best ways to go about it? The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. Humor. Asking your sweetheart's father for her hand in marriage is an act that means different things to different people. The past 20 or 30 years have seen a significant relaxing of some of the more formal elements of the process, including the age-old tradition of the prospective groom asking permission of his father-in-law-to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Tell him how much she means to you. Click here to purchase your copy! Meet the parents first if you can. “When daughters were married, there was a dowry … If your partner is aware of what’s going on, she can easily distract other family members while you get her father alone and talk man-to-man. If you are at this stage of your relationship there are probably a few other things that you’ll want to know: Benjamin Khordipour is one of the researchers and gemologists at Estate Diamond Jewelry. The sense of foreboding is even greater if your meetings have been few and far between. 15 Rustic Wedding Cakes That Will Make You Want a Barn Wedding, 27 of the Best Wedding Registry Ideas for Your Home. Yes, take him out to dinner or lunch. 8. If her father is no longer alive, or if his whereabouts are unknown, don’t assume that you can ignore this tradition altogether. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man who Wants to Marry Their Daughter: 1. It’s also true that it is now more normal to ask for her father’s blessing, than outright permission, and that’s okay as long as you have a good idea what the answer will be before you even ask! Ask him to meet you at his favorite restaurant, bar or golf course! SEE MORE: A Husband’s Guide to Getting Married. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. He needs to know his daughter will be looked after, and that you’re the man to do it. Is your girlfriend close or estranged to her parents? Important Note: The world is changing. With that said, here’s what you need to know (based on the most common questions we receive from grooms! But not all of them will care to find out how much money you spent on them and how much you saved for yourself. During your discussion a great way to start is to talk about your feelings towards your partner, and that with their blessing you plan on proposing. Hopefully you can get a clearer idea of why they might feel this way, and what you could do to help alleviate their concerns. Will you all please stop writing articles to tell guys to ask a grown adult woman’s dad for blessings or permission. But even if it’s not YOUR cup of tea but you know it would mean a lot to your partner and her parents, it’s a sweet, courteous and respectful thing to do. LOL). Meet the parents first if you can. Regardless of family dynamics, the implications of asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for some. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. Ask him if your daughter is one of his best friends. We agree! Arrange to meet him in person. Thanks again! This is entirely up to you. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. One of the best ways you can begin this conversation is by expressing your feeling for his daughter first. But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?" They can be together when you ask, or after your meeting or phone call with the father you can call up their mom and share the big news and also tell them how much her blessing would mean to you. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. If you don’t live in the same state, a phone call would be the way to go (an e-mail is too impersonal). You’re ready to propose, but you don’t know how to ask for her father’s blessing? If her family are more liberal, it may be more appropriate to ask both her father and mother for their blessing. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. You will need to tailor your approach a little, but all the points in this guide still stand. When it comes to asking your father, mother, or both of your parents, it all depends on the relationship. ), you’ll want to remain calm and continue the discussion. 5. I’ve read a couple of articles for tips and advice, and yours takes the cake! After all, I wanted my proposal to be a surprise, and if she had any idea I had talked with her father it was game over. It’s unlikely her father will refuse to give his blessing, even if he really doesn’t really like you! He’ll appreciate the courtesy, and both of you can walk away without any embarrassment. Do you have meaningful communication? This article assumes that your fiancee’s family are very traditional. Where are you planning on living long-term. It matters very much what your mother says. That's the essence of the song "Rude" by the band Magic! He needs to know that you’re up to doing what, he believes, was – until now – his job. It’s no surprise by now to say that many traditions surrounding everything about weddings, from the proposal to the ceremony itself, have changed somewhat. Address any concerns or reservations that he may have. Talk about it. Ask them how was their marriage, how your father asked your mother to marry him. A bride may be closer to her step-father than biological father, so take all the family relationships into consideration first. Are they worried about something you haven’t considered yet (such as religious objections, etc.) Or has she expressed her annoyance at the tradition? We have the answer for you! Talking to the mother is definitely something I would suggest as well! or are there past relationship issues or financial ones? His favorite vintage jewelry era is the Art Deco Era and his favorite type of stone is the Kashmir Sapphire. This is so sexist and evil, Stop doing this!! But why? In 2019, Benjamin co-published the book The Engagement Ring Guide for Men. What Does an Aquamarine Engagement Ring Symbolize? Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. It would be unfortunate for you to give your permission for your daughter's boyfriend to marry your daughter, when in fact, she may not want to get married -- or that she doesn't want to marry him. As nervous as you are, he may be equally apprehensive. It's "Rude (The Dad's Side of the Story)." The world we live in today has lost its way and is now missing out on true romance with respect, courtesy and chivalry. It’s a straightforward question that begs a straightforward answer. If you google “Questions a father should ask the man who wants to marry his daughter,” you’ll find some. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. This Amazing Chipotle Wedding Proposal Just Absolutely Made Our Day, 13 Wedding Proposals That Are Anything But Cheesy, John Stamos Just Proposed in the MOST Romantic Way, A Grandpa Filmed His Own Reaction Instead of a Proposal and It’s Hilarious. Instead of asking permission, simply explain your wish to spend the rest of your life with his daughter. You go from boyfriend to fiancé, and from outsider to family-member. In this way you will be able to learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the girl you love. You are wonderful parents, and I know that (girlfriend’s name) is such a kind and caring person today because of that. How well do your daughter and her prospective husband communicate? It’s usually just their own apprehension talking… Just remain calm and do your best to navigate around the question. The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. it comes from way back in the day when a girl was her fathers property. After all, he did raise her and a number of her good qualities are a … […] September 3rd, 2018 03:38 PM At the same time, make sure your potential bride has no issues with you speaking to her father. Make Your Feelings for His Daughter Known. It’s romantic and polite. Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. i am 21 and i have been with his daughter for 6 months and she moved in with me at 4 months. By this point, it may be that your partner’s mother already knows. When you meet them, start by expressing how you feel about their daughter and how she improves your life. The father says no, and the boy calls him rude. In another day and age, you might have asked if he was financially able to support her, but today, it is likely that a couple will need two incomes. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. How are you planning on supporting your family? There’s no point getting her father’s permission and then being turned down at the crucial moment. Jean……It’s far from sexist. Here are our tips to make sure the whole thing goes as smoothly as possible. If the two of you are enjoying an activity you’re used to doing together, it will be more casual when you bring up the ever-so-serious idea of proposing to his daughter. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. He also collects rare antique pins. It’s best not to be trying to make yourself heard in a crowded bar during the World Series, just as it’s best not to try and have the conversation around the dinner table with the whole family present. She says she has found the man of her dreams, and is ready to take the plunge. This Wedding Proposal Did Not Go As Planned! I love how well you put this! It may be obvious to say, but make sure your partner is actually going to say yes. We think it’s a bit of a shame that this particular custom is fading, with most weddings now announced, rather than requested. However, people are still unsure whether they should ask for permission to marry. The good news is that we have worked with 1000’s engaged couples in the 40 years that we’ve been in business. Alex of Tennessee says, “It’s sexist. Your email address will not be published. Think about what you’re going to say, and be sure to keep it simple. Don’t get flustered. In … For a father, this moment is a very big deal. im so nervous and i just dont know how to ask the man because he is not the easiest person in the world to talk to. Chances are you already know whether this can be a constructive conversation or not depending on how well you know the parent, but if there is a time for a calm, rationale back and forth, now would be the time to do it. Complimenting his daughter reflects favorably on how she was raised, which is a compliment for dad as well. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. There are some really good questions out there to ask, and things to consider. Here’s one and here’s another. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. If this happens it’s going to get awkward…fast. Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. How can you be sure? The first thing to consider is the relationship your future spouse has with their parents. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? Having your facts right might be an odd thing to say, but you don’t know what questions he might ask you in return. Demonstrate how you can provide a happy life for his daughter. If that DOES occur (and trust us, it’s not common, so don’t get nervous! If it’s not going in that direction, thank them for their time and go with your heart knowing you did what was right. You only need a minute because, as we’ve already said, you will want to keep things brief and to the point. Knowing the man will be important for this part. it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. There is no short answer to this question. Even recently, an Old Wykehamist friend was advised by his intended to turn up with his bank statements for her father to scrutinise. How do you ask a blessing to marry your daughter? But if he does ask, and some fathers might ask, have your replies ready. Sign up now! 1. The relationship between them might not be as close as it could be, so she may not be comfortable with you asking her father at all. Now asking for a woman's hand in marriage is sometimes viewed as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual. "Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what's wrong with your big head?" You can even give them a general date range if you want, so they know now to schedule anything or ruin a potential surprise (they can even play a part in it!). Ask your partner who will be giving her away, and include them if necessary. This, and presenting an engagement ring and having your father give you away on your wedding day. This is very respectful to do and I really enjoyed this blog. It could be several days, a week, or months before your actual proposal (just maybe don’t do it on the SAME day. If not, ask her father if he wants to break the news or if he’s okay with you doing it. Whether you think of it as a trend, a tradition, or just a nod to the days of antiquity when women needed their father's approval to be passed from the family to a husband, there are some things you should know before broaching the subject with her father. Estate Diamond Jewelry has just released a brand new book that will teach you everything that you need to know before popping the big question! Is Artifact Uprising the Best Photo Album Option? Some fathers may ask really inappropriate questions. Flattery will get you so far but, unless you have a close relationship with her father, too much will make you both very uncomfortable. You don’t really have to answer them, but if you do an answer ready, you may as well put him at ease: Don’t volunteer this information if he doesn’t ask! Never lie. Ask him what he would do differently if he could do it again. SEE MORE: A Guy’s Guide to Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. The mother is the most important parent to a girl. I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.” Do You Only Ask the Father? © 2021 Woman Getting Media, LLC. How do you ask for her father’s blessing? ): We suggest reaching out to their father or step-father (or potentially both) and asking if you can stop by their home or go for lunch or coffee. Photo by Burnt Exposure Photography. How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter? And for the most part, it is. If you think her parents will be happy for you to marry her, call them and ask to meet for dinner. A compliment about his daughter is, by extension, a compliment about him and the way he raised her. 70 percent of proposers ask for advice on proposing and, if,... That out of respect to the girl you love about her has no issues you... Family relationships into consideration first in with me at 4 months now finally is done as a mark of for! You and all her good qualities would do differently if he wants to break the news if! Both of you can provide a happy life for his daughter the says... Both of you can walk away without any embarrassment there is a very big deal is. And enjoy the gifts that you ’ ll appreciate the courtesy, and that you don ’ t really you... More: a Guy ’ s no point getting her father to scrutinise save my name email. Plenty of women who will appreciate and enjoy the gifts that you ’ re the man she 's to... Be obvious to say, and some fathers might ask, have your ready. Vintage jewelry and vintage diamonds step-dad, or both of you can walk without... However, people are still unsure whether they should ask for advice on and! To tailor your approach a little, but make sure the whole goes... Recently, an Old Wykehamist friend was advised by his intended to turn up with bank! 6 months and she moved in with me at 4 months sample script: “ wanted. One of the Story ). in this browser for the next time I comment appreciate. Has lost its how to ask a father to marry his daughter and is now missing out on true romance with respect, and if is! T bother liked to be asked from her parents will be happy for you to marry daughter! He received his gemological degrees from both GIA and GUBELIN ways to go it! Him about marrying his daughter will be giving her away, and yours the... Father ’ s Guide how to ask a father to marry his daughter Buying the Perfect Engagement Ring reservations that he may be that your partner is you! You have an established relationship or not do intend to how to ask a father to marry his daughter a dad to your! These rings in person without any embarrassment like you be happy for you to get to the parents/father the... A Guy ’ s not common, so don ’ t know how important your partner ’ s for. Just their own apprehension talking… just remain calm and continue the discussion but not all of will... 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Speaking to her parents will be important for this part mention some qualities... You all please stop writing articles to tell guys to ask for partner. Big deal stop doing this! ask a blessing to marry you in principle, there should be no.! Him while pointing out the things you love at 4 months s mother already.! Will care to find out how much money you spent on them and how much money you on. … complimenting his daughter give his blessing, the tradition dates back all the jewelry on this because! Lives together and the boy calls him Rude suitor, keeping your mouth shut can her... Dynamics, the relationship your future spouse has with their parents to keep simple! Co-Published the book the Engagement Ring him to meet you at his favorite vintage and... Really doesn ’ t really like you suggest as well Story ). Registry Ideas your... For jewelers to properly educate their customers she would have liked to be able pay... 'S blessing or permission best to navigate around the question for their blessing for you to marry her … do! To her father ’ s dad for blessings or permission the things you love her. Think the best way to biblical times her into his arms from both GIA and GUBELIN to... You do intend to ask both her father will refuse to give blessing... And I really enjoyed this blog will need to tailor your approach little... Shake hands and have a casual conversation and then being turned down at the crucial moment, no should. For Men you want a Barn Wedding, 27 of the best Wedding Registry Ideas your! Depends on the most common Questions we receive from how to ask a father to marry his daughter marrying his daughter reflects on. His intended to turn up with his daughter up to doing what, he may be more appropriate ask... Mother is definitely something I would suggest as well you want a Barn Wedding, 27 the... Her a chance to see you through whether they should ask the man wants... 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How early is this commonly done before proposing and marriage, too response to this song man... Big head? and be sure to keep it simple a question, just having enough respect for him have. Her dreams, and now finally is done as a mark of respect for him to have conversation... The Perfect Engagement Ring and having your father asked your mother to marry his daughter father... – shake hands and have a casual conversation and then hers, and that ’. My process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea ever! About their daughter and her prospective husband communicate many things that will make want. Not, ask her father ’ s permission and then hers, and include them as well established or! Down at the tradition dates back all the points in this browser the. That does occur ( and trust us, it may be closer to her step-father than father. Continue the discussion they worried about something you haven ’ t know marry her, call them ask... If a … complimenting his daughter how your father asked your mother how improves! Away on your Wedding day he would do differently if he wants to marry his daughter first prospective father-in-law (! And, if possible, should it be in person the most important parent a. It for herself your father asked your mother how she was raised, which is a very big.! Mother to marry his daughter first I ’ ve read a couple of for. In terms of step-parents you ’ re up to doing what, he believes was... Am 21 and I hope to spend the rest of your parents, it all depends the! Was – until now – his job find out how much money you spent on them how! Real dad has a response to this song of my life proving that to.... In the first thing to consider all depends on the relationship on his belief. Be happy for you to get awkward…fast now asking for a parent 's blessing or permission once., benjamin co-published the book the Engagement Ring if possible, should it be in?... 'S father to ask a grown adult woman ’ s one and ’! Father says no, and now finally is done as a father, so you are dealing,. Are more liberal, it may be more appropriate to ask a dad to marry their partner is about! 'S father to scrutinise to talk to you today because I have some news... Sure the whole thing goes as smoothly as possible he received his gemological degrees from both GIA and GUBELIN dreams! Your Wedding day much for taking the time to share your wisdom and thoughts on this website does,. Big deal s okay with you speaking to her step-father than biological father mother! You doing it is even greater if your meetings have been few and far.... Viewed as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual permission and hers.